Let Them Be Curious About You

Hi friend,

What’s your natural preference for conversations: an intimate one-on-one, or a group? I prefer one-on-ones. I like the back and forth, where I can read the other person’s energy, notice what lights them up, and sense how the conversation is landing.

Groups were a different story, especially earlier in my career. I remember being at the office for potluck day. Six of us were sitting around a table with our empty plates pushed aside, swapping stories and laughing. I had stories, too, and more than once I opened my mouth to jump in. But every time, a little voice stopped me: Would anyone really care about that? So I kept listening, laughing, and asking questions. I was fully part of the conversation, but nobody walked away knowing much about me.

Maybe you’ve done that, too. You think of something to share, then decide it’s not interesting enough and let the moment pass.

I brought that same habit into leadership. When I started leading a team, I was genuinely interested in my people. I asked questions and wanted to understand them, but unless someone asked about me, I didn’t share much. Looking back, I wonder what that cost us. I knew them, but they didn’t really know me. They didn’t know my lessons learned, what mattered to me, or why I saw things the way I did.

Recently, someone I work with told me how much they love being curious about people and letting people be curious about them. They described it moving around a whole group, with people asking questions, sharing stories, and learning about each other. I loved that.

I talk a lot about being curious about other people, but that conversation reminded me of the other half: we have to give people something to be curious about. Someone might relate to your story. They might recognize a challenge you’ve faced or realize you care about the same things they do. One small comment in a group could turn into a great conversation later.

But they need something to respond to.

Being curious about someone is an invitation, and so is sharing a piece of yourself. I still love to listen, and I still prefer a smaller conversation. But I’m learning to give people a little more of me.

If you’re like me, here’s something to try this week. The next time someone asks you a question, skip the quick answer and share a little more. Tell them why something matters to you, or what you’re excited about right now. And if you’re in a group, offer one small story, then notice who gets curious. Their questions might tell you something about them, too.

So tell me: what’s something people would be surprised to learn about you? Hit reply. I’d love to get to know you a little better.

Stay curious,

Molly